try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
