I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
