i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
