I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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