so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
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He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
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I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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