i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.