apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
