so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
So much rum. So many feels.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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