Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
