Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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