it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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