you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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