You're completely useless in the revolution.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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