"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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