Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize