none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i love accidental penises.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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