there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize