Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
