i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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