Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize