Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize