I hate your face
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
