College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
