Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
