that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
