Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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