I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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