My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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