plz talk dirty to me
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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