I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Randomize
