Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
