They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize