chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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