I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
