I would go down on you faster than GM stock
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
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