The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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