Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
