And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
