I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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