i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
