shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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