i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
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She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
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Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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