We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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