4 words: hood of his car
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
