so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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