let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
