There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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