omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
