Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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