What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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