His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
