An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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