why didn't you poke me back
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
