Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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