booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
