Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
