bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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