At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
