If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
We named our party play list daddy issues
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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