oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize