You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
