I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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