so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
even my farts smell like vagina
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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